i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
