btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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