whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Girls should come with a carfax report
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
