I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just invented taco cereal.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
