My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
