Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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