I wish my penis had an off switch
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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