just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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