had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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