that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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