Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I party with great urgency now.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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