I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i may or may not be watching the land before time
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
