He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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