1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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