No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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