I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize