so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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