I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
