So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
