it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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