would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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