BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
