Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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