still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
