so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
