Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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