he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
