I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
