I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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