hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
