I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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