In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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