Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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