You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
