enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
