I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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