Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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