It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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