Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
