The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
And then he peed in my hair
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