So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
