dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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