Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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