Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
