Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
