I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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