He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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