dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Randomize
