The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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