Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
