I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she looked like the before picture.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
