how do flat chested girls get laid?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize