He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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