he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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