And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize