I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
